Boyfriend threatens to break up with girlfriend over her skincare addiction: 'It's really hard not to feel grossed out any time we made physical contact'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Sep 22, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Everyone is allowed to have their hobbies. Life is difficult, and we need the stuff that makes it feel like it's worth living. Maybe you're a compulsive puzzler who buys new 1000-piece puzzles every week. Is it convenient? No. Is it a little bit expensive? Yeah. But you're in charge of your own life, and you have to do the things that make you happy. Maybe you're obsessed with model trains. You spend all your free time browsing the internet for new parts and assembling your dream tracks in your basement.  Is it convenient? No. Is it a little bit expensive? Yeah. But you get to do the things that make you happy. 

But what happens when your hobby goes too far? Is there such a thing as a hobby that goes too far? What if it starts affecting your relationship? These questions might come up when the hobby becomes a little more than a hobby. It becomes a way of life that is affecting everyone around you. That's what came up in this story, when one woman's obsession with skincare got in the way of her relationship. 

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  • A woman with a towel on her head uses a jade roller on her face.
    via Unsplash+ (Hans)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • As her boyfriend saw it, her constantly messing with her skin was her constantly messing with their relationship. It halted intimacy and set some questionable boundaries in their relationship. He wasn't sure if he could take it any longer. So he turned to the internet to get other perspectives on this sticky situation, literally. 

  • Am I in the wrong for wanting to break up with my girlfriend over her skincare/anti aging addiction?

    My girlfriend and I have been together for about 3 years and have been living together since the past 2. We are both in our early 30's She's gotten deep into skincare which did not start out this way. I liked it and was happy about her finding something she cares about and makes her feel good. I am not exaggerating but this has absolutely affected our relationship and intimacy.
    via u/Throwra-gfskinaddix
  • For example she wears sunscreen every single day even when she's indoors. She works from home and so do I so it's almost impossible to kiss her or touch her face with all this skincare and sunscreen on but even if I get over that she gets mad at me if I do it not to carefully. She's also on this prescription strength cream known for anti aging since the past 8 months
    via u/Throwra-gfskinaddix
  • which I feel is completely unnecessary given she looks great and doesn't have any major acne problems and it has absolutely ruined things for us ever since she started. I tried to educate myself on it apparently it's called tretinoin and it makes you shed skin. Which looked gross on her and her skin would be so sensitive like all the time she would develop a rash all
    via u/Throwra-gfskinaddix
  • over her mouth when I kissed her or we had s and my stub grazed against her face in any way. Since experiencing this a couple of times she's told me that we are only limited to soft kisses and no passion. At night she would wear thick creams and even Vaseline which would make it really hard not to feel grossed out when any time we made physical contact.
    via u/Throwra-gfskinaddix
  • This isn't just about intimacy. She's like pathologically scared of the sun. Usually I would draw out blinds and it would be nice and sunny outside but she makes a beeline to rush it close. We don't even go to the beach together although any indoor place she's ok with but honestly I just miss LIVING without having her worry about her skin all the time.
    via u/Throwra-gfskinaddix
  • At first this skincare passion sounded cute and I encouraged her too but now I'm just sick of it. I requested her to stop this tretinoin cream as that's the only reason why her skin is so sensitive. I even educated myself on it and though I know it helps with anti aging the topmost layer of the skin will always remain thin as long as a person is using it.
    via u/Throwra-gfskinaddix
  • I've talked to her so many times about this. I've told her I miss who she used to be before skincare took over her life. She stubbornly insists that what she is doing is "normal" in skincare communities. Nothing I say is working. Our lease is up coming November and I'm honestly tempted to not renew it and plan my exit. I don't honestly
    via u/Throwra-gfskinaddix
  • want to spend the rest of my life like this. I was planning on proposing to her 6 months ago and we had talks about it and now she's been hinting more frequently and I'm honestly reconsidering asking her to be my wife
    via u/Throwra-gfskinaddix
  • A woman with a towel on her head massages her face.
    via Unsplash+ (Hans)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters agreed that there must be something more going on here.

    SimaContention · 14h ago • I'm a dermatologist, you shouldn't have a rash on tretinoin (it means you're using it too aggresively, or you have a contact allergy). Her skin has to get used to it, either work up slowly, mix it with a moisturizer, or use the microsphere formulation. On top of that, you only use it at night because it makes you photosensitive. She should see a dermatologist about this.
    via u/SimaContention
  • That's only like 10% of what's going on here, though, most of this sounds psychological. I'm not going to give you the reddit advice of leaving her, though - if you really were close enough to her to consider marriage, try counseling and sticking it out. There's something else underneath all this.
    via u/SimaContention
  • bu... • • 21h ago Edited 21h ago I'm surprised I'm the first to say it, but the skincare hyper- fixation may not be the problem. It could be a symptom of something deeper. Just curious if your gf has gone through any serious life changes recently? Any trauma? Has she ever spoke to a psychologist/therapist for ADHD or anxiety?
    via u/burntdowntoast
  • shadow_sparke • 18h ago As someone who uses tretinoin 1. You HAVE to wear sunscreen everyday, which honestly good to do regardless and 2. It can take 2 weeks to 4 months to adjust to so if she's continuing to feel very sensitive on it then she should probably move to weaker prescription bc that's probably too strong for her
    via u/shadow_sparke
  • skin. There's also alternative retinoids to tretinoin that sometimes work better for people. Tretinoin should not continuously make your skin sensitive. I've adjusted and my skin just feels normal now (but adjustment period can be ROUGH)
    via u/shadow_sparke
  • Comfortable-Yam9... 17h ago Suncream and tret are completely normal. Being afraid to go outside is not. Something else is going on
    via u/Comfortable-Yam9013
  • se... 20h ago Edited 20h ago NTAH, I've seen this happen in some skincare subreddits, people truly get addicted and it turns into an unhealthy obsession. It can be comparable to an eating disorder. Creams and stuff are one thing but the fact that it's disrupting her life and, by
    via u/seh_23
  • extension, yours, is really concerning. I care about my skin much more than the average person but I still go to the beach I just put sunscreen on and wear a hat; that's normal skincare behavior. You know her best and what she will be receptive to, she needs therapy. She won't
    via u/seh_23
  • realize how extreme she has become because the online skincare community definitely encourages this behaviour so she needs a true reality check. Does she have any girlfriends who might also be able to help you talk some sense into her? She might be more receptive to a girl telling her this isn't normal. How she
    via u/seh_23
  • responds to a serious conversation about her mental health and the fact that you are thinking about leaving her should help you determine your next steps.
    via u/seh_23
  • highheelcyanide ⚫ 18h ago • If her skin is that sensitive on tret, she needs to use it less or have a lower dose. I've used it and other similar actives for over 20 years. I'm assuming from what you've wrote, that her skin is flaky. That can happen, but it shouldn't. You're either not using it right or your skin can't handle it, period.
    via u/highheelcyanide
  • sjk928 21h ago This sounds like something she should go to therapy for. I like skincare and get facials and use products regularly but it sounds like she is anxious about her skin to an unhealthy degree and maybe has a distorted body image. Is she addicted to social media about skin care? It's easy to get targeted by all these scare tactics.
    via u/sjk928
  • If you do want to stay together, I would have another conversation where you share that you're worried about her. Definitely not the ah le here though. My husband doesn't like my skincare products either and I wouldn't take it to such an extreme regardless!
    via u/sjk928
  • Anthrodiva · 17h ago . You can break up with anyone for any reason. The person you are breaking up with may still think you are an a h le, no matter what the reason. You have no control over that. NTA.
    via u/Anthrodiva
  • Crazyfishman2 • 18h ago I have a sticky wife too that is all about skin care. If she is sticky, I stay away.
    via u/Crazyfishman2
  • catlOvingnerd • 15h ago This sounds more like body dysmorphia or OCD to me, as someone with both. Please try to talk to her about this, she needs therapy if this is serious, which it really sounds like it is. You need to sit her down and have a serious conversation. This is not healthy, and she needs to seek therapy
    via u/catlOvingnerd
  • New-Tailor3476 · 22h ago It's tough when something that starts as self-care turns into a barrier between you two. Your feelings are valid.. intimacy and connection matter just as much as skincare routines. You deserve a partner who balances their passions with your relationship.
    via u/New-Tailor3476
  • Intelligent-Bet-1770 13h ago Pff I totally didnt connect the tretinoin to the sunscreen thing at first read SHE HAS TO put on sunscreen. Like for real, it makes you so sensitive to the sun. Sunburn city
    via u/Intelligent-Bet-1770

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